Lots on my mind

This may be a very negative post...and for that I am sorry.

Tomorrow is my biopsy. I am worried. The pain on my right breast is increasing daily. I cringe thinking about Meatball latching on that side because it hurts so much even when he's not latched. When he latches, it hurts tremendously. After he empties me, the pain ceases until it begins to fill again :( I thought this was all "normal" and would go away. I am glad it is being looked at.

Had a little drama with all of this last night and this morning. I have a fantastic surgeon that is doing the biopsy. She is very pro breastfeeding. She wants to be sure to do whatever she can to in interrupt my nursing. For this I am very appreciative. However, I double checked with my innsurance this morning, and she is not on my plan. She is out of network.

I know I have fantastic insurance and I am grateful. After looking into this further, I was told I would have to pay my deductible and then be responsible for 20% of the total costs. This would be 20% of physcian costs, 20% of labs, and 20% of facility. This is going to be a small fortune.

I spoke with insurance to see if there's another breast surgeon in the area that I could go see and she explained that they do not put specialists on the plan. They have surgeons but not specifically breast surgeon. So, I called my doctor's office to cancel the biopsy tomorrow.

L answered the phone when I called and asked me to explain everything. I did. She told me I needed to not worry and she would speak with the doctor and get back to me. I was so upset I was nearly sobbing on the phone. Last thing I want to deal with in all of this is insurance costs. Soon after, Dr. P called me personally to explain she was not cancelling my appointment. She checked in my insurance and figured my out of pocket cost for me. She removed any facility costs so it is more manageable. Although I am sad I have to accept this hand out, I am so appreciative that Dr. P is working with me. Otherwise, I would have opted to not do the biopsy at all.

I have told a few more people about the situation. I feel so odd not knowing anything and sharing this news. I don't want anyone to worry and I want to pretend it's not happening. I so wish it wasn't.

On top of all of this, I think the Dom is taking a break from working because of all the stress? I am only pumping 2 oz total at work every 2-3 hours. Sad. Meatball is taking in 12 oz away from me. We are quickly burning through the stash. Not sure what I can do...